Revenge of the Christmas music

I may have mentioned in passing that I don't like Christmas music. There are a few Christmas carols I enjoy, but most of the genre does nothing for me, and every year a goodly number of grocery stores and radio stations decide that I'm going to hear it no matter what.

Well, tonight Ron the Drummer and I became part of the problem. We had a gig at the VA hospital, and we were told that the audience would expect a few Christmas songs.

Hmm. We'd encountered this at a gig before, but got around it by playing part of "Linus and Lucy" (from A Charlie Brown Christmas) and "Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah." We couldn't get away with that this time. Hanukkah is long over by now, and we needed more than "Linus and Lucy."

So what songs to choose? I hate the Santa Claus/secular Christmas songs. The pretty ones are religious, and this isn't my religion.

In the end, I found a workaround. We'd throw in three Christmas carols (plus "Linus and "Lucy," natch), but we'd do them as instrumentals. The audience didn't seem to mind the lack of vocals for our shortened versions of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful," "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," or "Carol of the Bells." We had fun going from each carol instrumental straight into one of our originals.

Funny. The idea of singing about Jesus made me uneasy. No lyrics? No problem.

* * *

On a slightly less bah-humbuggy note, we had a great time at this gig. We love entertaining veterans, hospital staff, and volunteers, and this batch of listeners was responsive and appreciative. We hope we can do it again soon.

Stuck

I'm theoretically excited about the song I'm writing at the moment. It taps into a mood most songs don't explore, which means I have have a chance to do something new. Newish, anyway.

Unfortunately, I'm stuck.

What challenge am I attempting to overcome? Plumbing the depths of a difficult emotion, perhaps? Finding precisely the right words to convey concepts that aren't easy to articulate?

Eventually. But right now I'm trying to find a rhyme for "live." Did you know that almost nothing rhymes with "live"? Seriously, almost nothing rhymes with "live."

On the bright side, obsessing over this one line means I can put off plumbing the depths of a difficult emotion and finding precisely the right words to convey concepts that aren't easy to articulate.

Lyrics vs. technology, take 2

I needed something to rhyme with "on my own," or possibly "alone." Hmmm. How about "waiting by the phone"?

Not bad, not bad.

Oh, wait. Nobody waits by the phone anymore. Cell phones have destroyed that cliche forever. I've already lost one decent song to advances in telecommunications; no point in making another one obsolete before I've even finished it.

Back to the drawing board.

Or the tablet. Whatever.

Donations in Tom Hennessy's name

I happened to be on LinkedIn when an update popped up. "Thomas Hennessy has a new connection," it said. Weird. Did somebody take over his account?

At any rate, it reminded me that I still need to post names of organizations that he would have liked people to donate to. Sorry for the delay. I really haven't wanted to write this.

In alphabetical order:

Immune Dysfunction Association
This Vermont-based organization raises awareness for ME, supports and advocates for Vermonters who suffer from ME and related disorders, and facilitates the education of patients, families, healthcare providers, and primary care physicians about ME.

Invest in ME
An independent UK charity that campaigns for biomedical research into ME.

The Massachusetts CFIDS/ME & FM Association
An organization that educates healthcare providers and the general public regarding myalgic encephalomyelitis and fibromyalgia.

May 12 International Awareness Day
Tom pretty much invented ME Awareness Day.

National Advocacy Alliance for ME/CFS
A network of organizations and individual advocates who engage with government officials to promote change in federal public health policies to better meet the needs of people afflicted with ME.

National CFIDS Foundation
The Foundation's objective is to fund research to find a cause for ME, expedite treatments and eventually a cure, and provide information, education, and support to people with ME. They began a fund for Tom when he was in a nursing home not long ago.

The Nightingale Research Foundation
Founded by Dr. Byron Hyde in 1988, the NRF provides technical assistance and information to healthcare professionals and researchers to help North Americans who have or are related to somebody disabled by ME.

PANDORA
Pandora does advocacy for patients with neuro-endocrine-immune diseases, including ME and chronic Lyme disease.

Wisconsin Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Association, Inc.
A nonprofit dedicated to assisting Wisconsin ME patients.

Thanks to Joni Comstock, Juliet, Pat, Lois Ventura, Erica Verrillo, and Victoria for contributing names of organizations.

Tom also had chronic Lyme disease—somehow I managed not to know this until after he died. If anybody knows of Lyme organizations Tom specifically endorsed, I'll post those too.

RIP Tom Hennessy

Dammit.

Tom Hennessy was an ME activist. Though he was desperately sick himself, he fought for over two decades to get people to take myalgic encephalomyelitis seriously, call it by the right name, and fund research for a cure.

I first encountered Tom in 2008. Ron and I had just released a recording of "Everybody Knows About Me," our ME advocacy song, and I wanted advice on how to get it out into the world. I found his site, RESCIND (no longer online), and figured he'd be a good person to contact. He loved the song. He proposed hosting it on RESCIND to raise funds, which we did. He was so passionate and enthusiastic, despite the havoc his disease had wrought on his body, despite his anger at the indifference and scorn leveled at sufferers.

The last time I talked to him was a year ago, via Facebook. I linked him to a song I'd written recently, and he expressed his frustration about not being able to do more for the cause. He'd wanted to put a huge, big-name fundraising/awareness concert together, but he got into a car wreck before plans took off. He still had hope that he could make it happen if a couple of big names did more of the heavy lifting.

Now he's gone. Died by his own hand. It's stupid for me to be surprised, as this is a common cause of death for people with ME, but he seemed like one of those people who would fight forever. Live forever.

I wish his story had a happier ending. RIP, Tom.

* * *

I wanted to close this with a link to a charitable organization that funds ME research or ME awareness. Unfortunately, I don't know where Tom would have wanted the money to go. His obituary page lists two places where memorial contributions can be sent, but one of them is the CAA, and I know for damn sure he wouldn't want you giving them the time of day. If anybody has a better idea, please contact me at susan[at]cinderbridge.com or leave a comment.

The unlikely songwriter

Ever hear of alternate universes theory? It goes something like this. Every time an outcome is in question, the universe splits into two, or three, or however many possibilities exist.

You turn right or left.

You have a second cup of coffee or you don't.

You take the job in Dallas or Berkeley.

Science fiction is rife with stories about alternate universes. Some physicists believe they exist for real. I don't understand the science nearly well enough to form an opinion about that, but isn't it fun to think about? To imagine all those different lives our counterparts could be living because they chose differently?

I thought of this tonight because of a post on Captain Awkward, one of my favorite advice column blogs. The letter writer had just about completed a first novel, and instead of being thrilled, felt sort of meh about it. Where could the writer find the motivation to keep going?

Captain Awkward had tons of great advice. The piece that clicked best for me referenced, of all things, the theme song from Flashdance.

"First, when there's nothing ..." the song starts. I am skeptical that "Flashdancing" is actually a thing-distinct-from-stripping that was popular in working-class Pittsburgh in the 80s, but I do think that all creative acts start there.

First, there is nothing.

And then there is you.

And then there is something that didn't exist before in the world.

What does this have to do with alternative universes?

When I ponder all the different courses my life could have taken, one of the first things that comes to mind is songwriting. In how many other universes do I end up doing that? My answer is always "not many." Not even if every version of my life provided me with a random song idea. Inspiration is the easy part for daydreamy fog-heads like me. It's the follow-through that's hard.

The first three lines of what would become my first song came out of freaking nowhere. A gift from the universe, or God, or random neurons colliding. The rest of the line and the vocal melody for the verses came just as quickly, through improvisation. Anything else—if there was to be anything else—I'd have to work for.

I mused, That's kind of catchy. It could be a song.

I thought, That's dumb. I don't write songs.

Here's where the road forks.

I easily could've thought: Yeah, I don't write songs, no point trying. That would've been the end of the line. Why attempt something so difficult when I knew I'd fail anyway?

I also could have given myself a pep talk. You can do it! You just have to believe in yourself! It probably wouldn't have worked. Not for long, anyway. Not enough to overcome my natural fear and self-doubt and laziness the first time I ran into an obstacle higher than my knees.

What I actually thought surprised me. One of those pieces of internal dialogue that seem to come from someone else. Okay, said the indifferent voice in my head. But if you don't, nobody else will.

Nobody else.

If I didn't make it exist, it wouldn't.

So I did. And here I am.

And sometimes, like tonight, I think about all the universes where I didn't keep going because I didn't understand why I should. I feel bad for those other selves.

Then again, who knows. If I wrote my first song when I was 30, another me could write my first song when I'm 44, or 63, or 80.

It's never too late to do the unlikely thing that changes your life.

If you don't, nobody else will.

Same love, different audience

You've probably heard "Same Love," a song that advocates for gay rights. If not, take a listen:

Cool, right? Hip hop has a history of homophobia. It's nice that someone is using the genre to speak out against discrimination. Not everyone is feeling the love, though. Tyler Coates, a gay rapper, finds the whole thing kind of annoying.

I know it's OK to be gay. Most of those I know in the LGBT community know it's ok to be queer, too. And here’s a surprise for the heterosexual world: most of us didn't learn from you anything about understanding and appreciating ourselves.

It's understandable, his frustration. The gay community hardly needs Macklemore's validation. On the other hand—and Coates acknowledges this throughout his piece—"Same Love" isn't for out-and-proud gay people. "Same Love" is for heteros with homophobic tendencies. Bigots are generally more open to a message that opposes bigotry when it comes from somebody they consider to be one of their own.

I don't know how many people "Same Love" has reached. I don't know if anyone ever reconsiders strongly held prejudices because of a song. I do hope that at the very least, it will encourage straight allies to be more outspoken when they encounter bigotry.