Happy Hanukkah from Cinder Bridge

On Sunday, December 18, Cinder Bridge officially became part of the problem.

We participated in another multi-band holiday benefit that day. As I've mentioned before, I like doing benefits. And this one helped out the Community Food Bank, a great cause that's in dire need of the funds. So why "problem"?

Back when we were invited to this shindig, Ron the Drummer pointed out that they'd probably want us to play holiday songs at a holiday show. I sent a message to the organizer, Rik of Tucson Rock Alliance, and asked him.

Rik said they'd like everybody to learn at least one holiday cover.

And that is why, on December 18, even though I spend every holiday season complaining about holiday music being crammed down our throats, we played a rousing, jazzed up version of "Oh Hanukkah" and a highly abridged version of "The Linus and Lucy Theme" from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

That doesn't count as selling out, though, right? Supermarkets never play "Oh Hanukkah," Not even the Barenaked Ladies version.

And "Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio rocks no matter what holidays you celebrate or what music you like.

* * *

Happy Hanukkah, everybody. For those of you who have never celebrated it, it starts on the 25th day of Kislev in the Jewish calendar. This year, that's sundown tonight.

Checking it twice

For a while now I've had a theory that someone must like Christmas music. Well, I found him! Here he is!

On a related note, I have a request for Whole Foods, which seems to have gone from throwing a few Christmas songs into the playlist to doing all Christmas all the time. If you must torture those of us who aren't into this genre, could you at least ease up on "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"? Two versions of it in a row is a little excessive.

Occupy the North Pole

It has begun. I heard Christmas music in two different stores today. Three full days before Thanksgiving.

Hey, maybe the Occupy movement can add this to their list of demands.


A girl can dream ...

Oh, dreidel dreidel dreidel

Just two weeks and five days before the Christmas music goes away.

Yeah, I know. A lot of people like it. They like it so much that they'll tune in to lite rock stations that play it 24 hours a day. I can change the station if I hear "Holly Jolly Christmas" on the radio, but there's no avoiding it when I venture into a supermarket or a shopping mall.

The one thing I'm eternally grateful for? That this hasn't happened with Hanukkah. While I have very fond memories of lighting the menorah with my family, adding the "The Dreidel Song" to the mix of holiday tunes would not improve matters. Trust me.

A lot of non-Christians grumble about how the whole Western world assumes everybody celebrates Christmas when December rolls around. I'm just happy that our relatively small numbers have kept us safe from the advertisers who would use our music to get us to buy their stuff.

* * *

Apologies to those of you who actually know "The Dreidel Song" and can't get it out of your head because of this post. If it's any consolation, it's stuck in mine now too.

'Twas the day after Christmas

'specially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice

With a big grin, I remove my finger from my car radio's search button. I like this song. Even better, it's being broadcast from 94.9 Mix FM, which has played nothing but Christmas tunes for the past few weeks. Today is December 26. I officially don't have to deal with holiday music until next year.

Easy to say no
Much too easy to say nooooooo

I sigh contentedly as the last organ chord draws to a close. Yeah. I really like that—

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

(Click)

Oh well. I guess it's too much to expect Mix FM to go cold turkey.

Rudolph and Jack

Hunting for green things in the produce aisle at Whole Foods, I hear the opening strains of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Ugh. I liked this when I was nine. Like most secular Christmas songs aimed primarily at kids, it hasn't aged well.

I grumble to myself for a bit, then realize it isn't quite as annoying as I'd anticipated. The arrangement is one I haven't heard before.

And yet, there's something familiar ...

My god. It's Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson is making "Rudolph" ... not entirely suck.

See, there's a reason I buy every album this man puts out.

Make it stop

How can you stand it, I asked a grocery store staffer. It annoys me, and I only have to be here for a little while.

He shuddered and told me they started three days before Thanksgiving. It's driving him batty.

How can you stand it, I asked the guy at the register as he bagged my groceries.

He tried to stay focused, he said. He just ignored it the best he could, concentrated on what was in front of him.

You'd think, after establishing strict child labor laws and a five-day workweek, unions would be able to ban all-day Christmas music in supermarkets.

I can sort of understand blasting "White Christmas" at customers in other stores. We're potentially buying presents. Maybe the management figures it can whip us into a spending frenzy by reminding us of when we were kids and anxiously awaited Santa's arrival. Or something.

But supermarkets? People buy food because they need food. It's not a seasonal thing. As far as I know, people don't shop for gifts in the frozen aisle.

I can strategically avoid most retail until December 26. I cannot, however, stop eating.

It's going to be a long month.

Do you hear what I hear?

Home for Thanksgiving this week. To celebrate our joyous reunion, my sister and I ventured out to the mall for some shopping patriotic stimulation of the economy. Upon exiting one store, I turned to my sister and asked:

"Would it be too nanny-state of me if I wanted to make a law prohibiting all Christmas music until after Thanksgiving?"

I get why they do it, these stores. It's pure classical conditioning. They provide the stimulus (happy Christmas music), and we're supposed to produce the response (buy buy buy). Retail's only means of survival is to make money, so you can hardly blame them if this tactic works. But ... why does it work? I've met maybe two people in my life who like Christmas music. Everyone else finds it annoying. And I suspect that even those who enjoy it eventually burn out on it after having it shoved down their throats earlier and earlier each year.

Do you like hearing Christmas music? Do you like it before Thanksgiving? Does it inspire you to shop more?